


Fix You

by dayindisguise



Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Dom/sub Play, Kinks, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, References to Suicide, Sensory Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-15
Updated: 2011-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:15:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayindisguise/pseuds/dayindisguise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> He was left alone with his boisterous thoughts that threatened to tear him apart from the inside out, but soon they too were silenced until he was left with nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it was fucking beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Transport](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/18405) by thisprettywren. 



> Originally posted under my livejournal username **hinderedheroine**.  
>  The same concept and situation as the parent fic, though differing in places with the characters, methods, lead up and come-down.

Nothing existed beyond what he could feel. Object permanence had dropped off of his radar at some point, and now all he could focus on was the thick leather that wrapped around his limbs and held him in place. His senses were numbed, taken from him, and at first the silence had been terrifying. He was left alone with his boisterous thoughts that threatened to tear him apart from the inside out, but soon they too were silenced until he was left with nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it was fucking beautiful.

Her funeral arrangements had been taken care of by the young woman’s family, as he couldn’t bear to do them himself. He could hardly think about the situation without falling apart and shattering into a million pieces all over again. He should have been the one to see it. He should have been home early. He should have been able to stop her. His predictability had solidified her ending, and even though the ghost of a sated smile was etched into her lips when he found her, Matt couldn’t help to fight away the guilt that was clawing at his insides. She hadn’t been depressed, not that he was aware of, nor had she been on any kind of medication. The morning that Matt left for work, the last time that he would kiss his girlfriend goodbye, Valary had seemed just like her normal self. She had bitched at him for eating all the pop tarts, demanded he make her pancakes, and sipped her coffee as he did. Blueberries and raspberries on top with just a little syrup and a little butter, just like every Thursday for the past six months. But she was happy. She was always happy when Matt was at her side. He just couldn’t comprehend the narrow and quick steps from content to deceased.

It had been Brian who was the first to calm a hysterical, hulking mess of Matt when he’d found her body in the bathroom, and it had been Brian who had slept next to Matt every night for the past three months while his best friend sobbed and trembled, eventually drifting into a fitful and pathetic sleep which was plagued by the memories and the feel of Val’s cold, clammy skin against his sweaty palms. It was Brian who had brought Matt’s head into his chest and stroked through the thick curls at the base of his skull as the quiet tears rolled down the man’s cheeks. Brian was the only one who truly saw the man break, and they both intended to keep it that way. Before Val’s death, they had been close. That couldn’t be denied. Immediately after, their bond had only grown stronger until Matt had become utterly dependent on the other man. This was a side of Matt that no one had ever seen before, at least not to Brian’s knowledge, and it terrified the older man.

To the outside world, Matt was as strong as an ox, built and fortified muscles of steel, masculine to an extreme degree and invincible. Inside, he was a scared little boy who just needed to be held, to be told everything was all right and not to wake up alone. Brian had come to realize the latter when Matt had nearly given himself a panic attack when he’d woken up without Brian at his side. The man had just been downstairs making coffee, Matt not due to wake up for another five hours or so, and Brian had figured everything would be just fine, that Matt wouldn’t notice. The panicked wail had sounded through the big, empty house and brought Brian running from his place up to be sure the other was okay. Matt was practically in tears as he tripped on the bed sheets, rushing his way over to bury into the other’s side, as if his own life depended on making contact and keeping it.

Brian had been doing research with a sleeping Matt curled into his side, fingers quietly moving over the keyboard as he looked for different calming and grieving techniques. All the ones they had tried before had been unsuccessful. Verbal therapy had gone nowhere with the ever tense, not quite talkative Matt. Brian was running out of options. He couldn’t keep Matt attached to him for the rest of his life, and when he’d read an article on the benefits of sensory deprivation, he’d quickly compiled a shopping list on the adult sex toy store in town and had his items rush  delivered so that when Matt woke up, they could try what would hopefully be the cure for the broken man.

At first, Matt had been hesitant. Sure, he trusted Brian with his life, but this… this was a little unusual, though something in the back of his mind had pushed him to accept the man’s proposition. He had to be driving Brian insane, clinging to him endlessly for the past three months. He owed Brian a legitimate attempt. So when he was sat on the smooth, hard chair in the middle of the empty room in the basement, Matt had willed himself not to fidget, and just to be compliant with his best friend.

Brian’s hands were trembling only slightly as he tied the heavy, leather blindfold over the larger man’s eyes, knowing it would block out even the brightest of lights (having tested it himself first). If he was going to do this, he wasn’t going to do it half-assed like he normally did. Matt deserved his full effort and his attention, and he’d be damned if he didn’t give this his best shot.

“Open.” Brian spoke quietly, his voice more than hushed in the ultimately silent room, save for the gently rustling and the sound of bare feet on tile as Brian stepped around Matt’s nearly naked body. Matt didn’t open as he’d been instructed, his jaw feeling momentarily locked in place as the thick, wide gag pressed  to his lips, just gently prodding at him to part them.

“I said open, Matthew.” The older man’s voice grew more firm, authoritative and unwavering now, and something inside of Matt snapped. He wasn’t too sure, but the next second his jaw was hanging open, almost eager to accept the presence in his mouth. It pressed to the corners of his mouth, giving his teeth something to bite down onto on both sides, worrying the corners of his mouth but not in a way that Matt truly minded. He had given over his trust to Brian, and now he was willingly giving over his body. The wide straps that Brian secured around Matt’s wrists were snug, but not nearly uncomfortable. It was a gratifying feeling, handing over what was left of his control to someone else, someone stronger than he. Brian would take care of him. He knew that for a fact.

“Stand.” Brian’s voice came into his ears again, just as authoritative as it had sounded when he disobeyed the first command, his body seeming to work of its own accord, bypassing the endless noise in his brain. Val’s face settled into his mind as the leather restraints at his wrists were fastened together and secured to a chain hanging from the ceiling that Matt had hardly noticed when he walked in. She was haunting him again, her chocolate brown hair tied back from her face, giving him that “you’re an idiot, but I love you” smile that melted his soul, and he gave a strained and muffled whimper behind the gag, knees sagging slightly. Her voice was playing in his mind now, and he was so far from Brian’s touch that he didn’t bother to fight when the restraints were wrapped around his ankles and secured to the floor an equal distance apart. He hadn’t even noticed when the oil had been smoothed in a line below his nostrils, dipping in slightly to make the scent unavoidable. Vanilla. The most simplistic, yet overpowering scent. It was the first to drag his mind away from Val, if only for a moment.

“Slow breaths, Matthew. You’re safe.” Brian’s words were flowing through his ears again before the ear plugs took away the last of his senses and he felt no touch against his body. Up until that point, Brian’s hips had been resting against the side of his own, absently, maintaining a point of contact between the two of them. That had helped to keep Matt calm until Val had plagued his mind and taken over. Now, he was gone. She was gone. Everything was gone, save for the strong vanilla oil under his nose.

The panic settled in on him after a minute of nothing. There was no sound, no light, no touch, no smell save for the one that blocked the sense,  and it was monumentally terrifying. He was helpless and drowning in himself, the blackness surrounding him and taking him over, and he soon thrashed where he stood, unable to free his hands or feet, to reach down and tear off the blindfold, or spit out the gag. He was trapped in the dark. In the soundless dark.  He thrashed and swayed and whimpered loudly for a solid ten minutes while Brian stood two feet away, biting hard at his knuckles to keep himself from moving over and freeing the fearful man. He had done his research, learned that this was expected to happen, but within ten minutes, it would subside and he would see the true results.

The room was just lit enough for Brian to make out Matt’s face, even obscured by the blindfold and the gag. He needed to be sure that his best friend wasn’t driving himself to hyperventilate or anything of the sort. He was on the lookout for signs of trouble. His watch told him that about seven minutes had passed by the time Matt’s body stilled in front of him. He stood calmly, not limp as if he was unconscious, but relaxed. For the first time since the death of his long-term girlfriend, Matt’s shoulders held no tension, his breathing was easy, and he was calm.

There was just a nothingness. Matt’s world had hollowed out, and all that he had was what he could feel; the tiles under his feet that were warmed by his skin, the leather straps that bound him in place, and the gag and blindfold that had brought him to such a state. His mind had become an empty slate, a blankness that soothed him in a way unimaginable to anyone who hadn’t experienced it firsthand. He had hardly registered that Brian was moving him until his limbs had been spread out against a cool, padded bench somewhere a few feet from where he had stood. His limbs felt heavy against the padding, as if he couldn’t move them, but it was simply that his brain had come to such a relaxed state that it needed to be awakened again.

Brian couldn’t believe that the treatment had worked. It took a bit of kink, a little research, and a lot of trust, but it had worked. Now, he thought to himself, would be the true test. After Matt had been secured to the bench, and left alone for a few minutes longer to readjust to his surroundings, Brian had moved to the second step of the process he had read online. Slow touches to tender parts of his skin. Brian regretted leaving Matt’s boxers on by this point, distinctly remembering that he had read something about needing to be nude, but Matt certainly wouldn’t have gone for it in his panicked state. A pair of shears came in handy, zipping down the seams at the sides of Matt’s hips, cutting the thin material away from his body with only the softest of grunts from the hardly mobile man where he lay. Brian would worry about those later. For now, he had to worry about Matt.

It started with the tip of his finger on the inside of Matt’s bicep, moving from elbow to armpit in a languid stroke that brought a curl of Matt’s fingers, the slightest curl, but Brian could feel the change in the man below him. All of the man’s focus had been exchanged to follow the heightened sensation against his skin, and when that finger trailed over his collarbone and dipped down along his sternum, Matt’s body was soon arching towards the touch. Everything had been black, but suddenly there were bursts of colour, the touch sending shivers throughout his body as the blood in  his system had begun to pump south and soon Matt was rising to attention. A firm blush coloured Brian’s cheeks, but he was quick to ignore the intruder in their safe haven. He’d read a warning about the body’s reaction to such a touch after the deprivation, the high likelihood of utmost arousal and even ejaculation during a session, but it was a risk Brian was willing to take.

In the time they had spent together, he wasn’t afraid to admit that he’d grown close to the younger man, almost as attached to Matt, as Matt was to Brian. He couldn’t deny the tension that plagued them and ended with soft kisses which Matt beat himself up over after. He wasn’t supposed to move on. He was supposed to love Val forever. But in his current state, gender and name and faces were so far gone from his mind, Brian might as well have been a complete stranger touching him.

Brian’s own skin reflected the gooseflesh that had raised on Matt’s body the more that finger moved over his oversensitive skin, and soon his lips had joined the finger in its motions, a nipple finding its way between Brian’s lips only to be suckled ever so gently. The touch of Brian’s lips had brought a sound from Matt’s lips that was the most erotic Brian had ever heard. Something between ultimate desperation and complete submission, Matt had released a guttural moan from behind the gag that sit perfectly inside of his mouth.

His cock was throbbing between his legs now, resting against his stomach until it stood straight up and out from his body, and Brian couldn’t ignore it any longer. He’d been teasing Matt for a full ten minutes, watching him writhe and squirm with abandon, head tilted back against the padding to expose his throat, as if begging to be kissed and marked like Brian had contemplated a dozen times as they lay curled together between the sheets of his bed. Maybe he would go there next time, but for now, Brian knew their time had to come to a close. Slowly, he dragged his lips from Matt’s sternum, down over his navel to the base of his cock, winding a trail of slow kisses around it before reaching the very tip and tasting the leaking precum with his tongue. It wasn’t as bitter as he had expected, almost pleasant, but it was certainly all Matt. A slow, slightly clammy hand had soon joined his mouth in teasing the thick, throbbing length, giving firm, slow strokes to the long shaft as Brian pressed the lightest of butterfly kisses to the tip.

His orgasm hit him like a freight train and Matt’s body was arching straight off the padding as the thick ropes of seed spattered against the back of Brian’s open mouth, coating his tongue in the thick white, leaving Brian to swallow a handful of times just to catch up. His body trembled and quaked roughly as he cried out from behind his gag, falling silent, limp and sticky with sweat against the padding as soon as his cock was empty and slowly softening against his stomach. Brian wiped his mouth as his best friend’s chest heaved, allowing him moments of bliss in his afterglow before he went on disturbing him.

Slowly, Matt’s senses came back to him. The vanilla was still strong, but the excess was wiped from underneath his nose with a wet cloth. Next his arms and legs were unbound, but remained motionless save for the small twitches. His ear plugs were eased out, allowing him to take in the quiet sounds of the room slowly; Brian’s breathing, the soft creak of the floor as he moved, the heavier sound of his own breathing and his heartbeat that slowly faded from his ears. The gag left next, the corners of his mouth reddened and a little chaffed, but he wasn’t about to complain. Matt didn’t speak but merely licked his lips and closed his mouth in comfort. As the blindfold came off, Matt’s eyes fluttered, but didn’t open. He had never felt so peaceful, been so thankful.

It took some time, long minutes of Brian gently stroking his hair back from his face as he stood bent over his body, but Matt’s eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the dim light in the room and just as slowly focusing on the familiar face above him.

“Hey…” Brian spoke softly, the firmness in his voice long gone, just a softer tone than Matt was used to. He pushed out a slow breath, hazel eyes moving over Brian’s features as a hand moved to touch a prominent cheekbone.

“…Hi, Bri.” Matt murmured, sounding like himself for the first time in three months. His eyes were still clouded and dazed from the afterglow of the strongest orgasm he’d ever experienced, but they held none of the sadness that Brian had grown accustomed to.

“Can we go to bed? I think I’m ready.” Matt’s voice broke the silence that had settled between them, sounding hopeful for a good night’s sleep.

“Of course.” Brian’s voice was tender, a pleased tone evident that brought a soft smile to not only Brian’s lips, but to Matt’s. A genuine smile.

Matt moved to his feet after taking his time to sit up, head a little woozy, but he didn’t mind. This was exactly what he had needed. To hand himself over to someone he loved, to let go and breathe. Brian’s hand was gentle in his own as he lead him up the stairs, the cool air moving over his bare skin only doing more to relax him. Somehow, in his new headspace, he found his way into Brian’s bed and waited patiently for the other man to join him, slowly backing towards the warm body, drawing one of Brian’s arms around his middle. He settled immediately and was into blissful  unconsciousness within moments, and for once, Brian found himself falling asleep to the sound of even breathing instead of panicky whimpers. For once, he didn’t worry about waking up to sobbing in his ear or tears plaguing his shoulders. He slipped into his own darkness and just let it wash over him, allowing them both to start fresh for the next day.  


  



End file.
